Only Love
by RainingStarWars
Summary: Han Solo had never really loved somebody, nor had he ever been loved in return. Honestly, he didn't even totally know what love felt like. Wasn't it just caring deeply about another person? Was it just sexual attraction? How was he supposed to know any of this?


Han Solo had never really loved somebody, nor had he ever been loved in return. Honestly, he didn't even totally know what love felt like. Wasn't it just caring deeply about another person? Was it just sexual attraction? How was he supposed to know any of this? Han had grown up as an orphan on the streets of Corellia, where he was kicked and abused by the people in the city. No one showed him any sympathy or compassion; they only saw him as a dirty urchin on the side of the road. His parents had abandoned him, and his only real friend in the galaxy was a giant walking carpet that helped him smuggle various things for random clients.

So, the word "love" didn't have much meaning to the smuggler. In the end, he assumed it was simply caring about something, and all Han really cared about was paying off his debts to Jabba the Hutt and keeping himself and Chewbacca alive. Other than that, he didn't have anything to care about. His life kind of just moved in slow motion. What excitement did he have to make hours feel short? Every day it was the same routine. Wake up, head out, find a new job (If he could, that is), complete the job if he had one, then go get drunk in a bar to drown out his boredom and misery. The next day, after Chewie had carried Han's drunken form back to his bunk on the _Millennium Falcon_ , he would wake up, nurse his hangover, then repeat the steps once again.

Every day, the process got more tedious and depressing, and it would take more alcohol to wash away the agony each night. If something didn't change soon, even Chewie's chiding wouldn't be enough to stop him from drinking himself to death. It was funny to Han... It seemed like "bored to death" could become quite literal in his case. But the drunkenness, smuggling, profit, and gambling seemed to be the only joy he could ever get. As long as Chewie wasn't forcefully stopping him, Han could do all that he wanted to ease the numbness that he felt inside.

One fateful day, things seemed to be just as boring as usual. Han was sitting at a table in some cantina on the planet Tatooine, hoping that someone would show up with a job offer sometime soon. He was growing more and more restless, and if he didn't find work soon, he would end up spending their last bit of money on a bottle of Ale. However, just when all hope seemed lost, Han spotted two... _Unusual_ characters enter the bar. An old, homeless-looking man and some kid with blond hair and wide blue eyes that showed he wasn't used to leaving his mommy's hand in a grocery store walked in the doorway. Solo scoffed a bit, rolling his eyes and falling back into his zoned out boredom. He didn't even notice that his wookie companion had shuffled off to talk to the pair.

It took Han a moment to comprehend Chewie informing him that the two strangers wanted passage to the planet Alderaan, but eventually, he came into focus enough to have a conversation. The old man, who went by Ben, and the kid, Luke, both sat down in front of him. Han gazed at both of them with his hazel orbs, leaning back in his seat tiredly. "I'm Han Solo," he told them, "Captain of the _Millennium Falcon_." Little did he know that everything was about to change.

Han thought that he was just giving two guys he didn't know a ride to some other planet, but he certainly didn't expect the sum of money that the old man was offering him. _Seventeen thousand credits_? That was insane! Nonetheless, Han accepted. Not only could that really save his skin from Jabba, but he could also actually have a good deal of spare money for a change. For once, things seemed to be going really well. Everything started moving really fast that day, but before Han knew it... He was infiltrating an Imperial space station? It all happened so fast that he didn't know what to think. One minute, he was bored in a cantina on Tatooine, but the next minute, he was being shot at by Stormtroopers!

He was also tasked with rescuing a princess and making sure that this Luke Skywalker kid didn't get his head blown off. Things were _definitely_ going differently than Han's typical day. He certainly wasn't bored anymore, but the stuff happening to him now was more like suicide than a way to pass the time. In less than twenty-four hours, Han had stuffed himself into a smuggling compartment, smashed a communications system, fought with a fiery princess, and almost gotten crushed in a trash compactor. Then, he was all wrapped up in this Rebel Alliance's plans to destroy the space station called the _Death Star_. That was _definitely_ suicide, and Han wanted no part of it. The Corellian didn't hesitate to let the Alliance know that he just wanted money.

But then, something strange happened. Han came back after trying to leave. He couldn't place why, and honestly, he thought that he might be going insane. After all of his years of living, Han Solo felt something that he had never felt before, and it was directed at a certain two people. The first person he felt this strange new attraction to was none other than Luke Skywalker himself. For some odd reason, the kid had started to grow on Han, and he felt this strange urge to protect young Luke. Even though he hadn't particularly liked Skywalker at their first meeting, Han found that after sitting down and talking to him for a while, Luke and he had quite a bit in common.

Neither of them knew their biological parents. Sure, Luke had his aunt and uncle to look after him while Han had nobody, but it was still like a mutual understanding between them. Not only that, but they also had a lot of common interests. Both of them liked flying, they both liked working on ships; not to mention, they both found it rather humorous to annoy Princess Leia Organa in a good-natured sort of way. Also, C-3PO could get on both of their last nerves. It was safe to say that Han had found a friend other than Chewie. A _real_ friend. Not that Chewie wasn't a real friend, of course.

Still, Han had never had a friend like Luke. Most of his "buddies" were just there for profit or to have a drink with him, but Luke... The kid gained nothing from his friendship with the brunet. For that reason, Han found that he really enjoyed Luke's company. After everything they went through together, it almost felt like they were brothers. Han saved Luke's life a couple of times, and Luke would save Han's life in return. It was nice, honestly, to have someone care about you to the point of risking their life. This was the first time felt love... The love of a brother.

It was a wonderful feeling, and for the first time, the numbness in Han's heart seemed to fade away. It was almost like love was exactly the cure for his depression, and he now realized that there was so much more to the new emotion than just caring about someone. It was a real, emotional bond between two people, and Luke was the first person to ever develop that with Han. Luke Skywalker was the first glimmer of light to shine through the gray storm clouds covering his saddened heart.

But then there was Leia. Fiesty, bold, undescribable Leia Organa. When Han first saw her, he didn't know _what_ to think. She was so gorgeous that his mind seemed to run completely blank at the sight of her. Oh, that woman could drive him over the edge in anger, but she could also make him go silent in awe of her beauty. There were hardly any words to describe Leia and the way he felt about her. The first time they had gotten close together in a very real and very heated argument, time had seemed to stop in Han's mind.

All he could feel was her hot and angry breath hitting his face, all he could see was her narrowed and blazing brown eyes that looked like pennies sparkling in the white light overhead. Leia's skin was so smooth and light that it appeared like a fine silk, and her soft brown hair was pulled up into two lovely brown buns. Somehow, Han found the time in that split moment to examine her figure in all of its glory. Her beautiful and perfectly curved slender figure was enough to make the smuggler's breath hitch. Had Han been nothing more than a child, he would have sworn that he was looking at one of the fabled angels that pilots and other travelers spoke of at the bars on Corellia.

As they both stood there, furious and breathing heavily, Han felt his shoulders relax as all anger left his body. Having never experienced true and undeniable love before, it was almost too much for him to process. The racing heart, the shortness of breath, the nausea in his chest; it was all happening so fast, and all his mind could do was picture her face and lovingly repeat her name over and over again. _Leia, Leia, Leia..._ How had he never realized how amazing it was to say? Han immediately knew that he must be in love, for no other emotion could be compared to this feeling.

When they kissed for the first time on the _Falcon_ , Han's heart had swelled with joy. Real, unmistakable joy. Han didn't think he could ever be so happy! And even when the went to lower him into the Carbonation Chamber on Bespin... Even after a friend had betrayed him, he could possibly die, his other friend could possibly be dead, and he might never see the people loved most ever again. Even after all of that, when Leia said those three little words, Han's life felt so complete that he couldn't even be scared.

" _I love you_."

Han couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that someone so close to a goddess and so perfect could _ever_ love a worthless smuggler like him. The idea that she actually loved him back made Han feel complete as a person. And then, Luke and Leia came back for him. They saved him from Jabba and never gave up on him even when the Alliance had. At that moment, as Han stared into the eyes of the two people he cared about most in the galaxy, everything felt... Right. That numbness and unending misery that had plagued Han for years before was gone. Now, he was happy, and he felt truly alive. For once, everything seemed okay; for once, living didn't seem so tedious.

For the first time, Han Solo loved, and he received love in return.


End file.
